The ocean is centering. Ventura, California
The color yellow: in nature and made by man. Thousand Oaks, California
I’m looking at you wondering what you’re thinking. Are you looking at me wondering what I’m thinking? Thousand Oaks, California
This drew me near when I saw it. It looked like a gate I wanted to cross. Portland, Oregon
Some mornings are so bright and new Thousand Oaks, California
I love the way coastal air feels going between my toes on PCH, sitting next to the woman who gave me life and knows me endlessly. There is beauty in feeling blessed and in feeling known. Santa Barbara, California
The way streetlights reflect on wet pavement is beautiful to me. I love the newness rain brings, making everything around you suddenly look differently somehow. Moorpark, California
I’m in love with the shades of grey that cloudy, drippy days bring. Thousand Oaks, California
While traveling last week, I thought about the possibility of my plane crashing down into the mountains or ocean I saw below me, and I felt so peaceful. I don’t feel I have any loose strings in my life right now that I shouldn’t have in my life right now. I feel as though I am living exactly how I should and want to be for this stage in my life. A family member seemed surprised when I explained a bit of the level of my current satisfaction, which is fine. I feel I’ve just learned to create the right kind of expectations for myself and limit them extremely to whatever phase of life I’m in. And right now, I feel like I’m the exact kind of nineteen year old I’d like to be:
putting in the work to transfer to a university in the northwest, putting in the hours at work to save up for said transferring, perfecting the friendships I have and making new authentic ones, improving each relationship I have within my family, simultaneously coming to a huge growing point and need for distance with one member, exercising time management completely in my favor so that I’m happy to be doing whatever needs to be done, taking care of my health in the best way I’ve yet to, and practicing being the most true to myself on a daily basis.
Those where their is distance, know where I stand. I’ve got the rest of my ducks in a row. I could’ve fallen from that plane and been able to be terrified at that unknowns of death approaching me, but not terrified about any unfinished business going unfinished. Not to say I would’ve liked to have fallen, but I like that I would’ve fallen knowing I’m content with who I am and what I’d left behind. I’d have died too young, but that’d be the only sorrow on my end.
Fog is a beautiful phenomenon that never seems to stop leaving me in awe. Portland, Oregon